the average girl who loves rock and roll music and ponders about the world. sleeping is her favourite past-time. she is a sucker for cigarettes and teas, despite her not so eager attempt to quit. cereal can be her meals 3 times a day 7 days a week, although she still loves duck rice and wonton mee.
and another death dream.
i wish to hell sometimes that someone can explain the reasons for these dark dreams. but thinking about the sensitivity of the issue, may be better not knowing.
it was grandma a few weeks ago, and now my younger brother. taking his spring time nap by the river and i was nearby, washing the sole of my chucks from the mud. next thing i knew, he was peacefully drowned as the water level rose.
i used to think you were the best thing that happened to me.. but i’ve come to realise this was only true 4 years ago. people say honeymoon periods are the most endearing. well, then u gave me the sweetest honeymoon i ever had. my heart still hurts and im still love sick.. though not with the person i spent close to 4 years with.
Dear Jeremy of 2007, Thank you for giving me the time of my life, I never felt so loved. Though 6 months was brief, i felt blissful every minute of our journey together. You transformed me in many incomprehensible ways. After you passed, i kept holding on.. to the person i thought was you. I think i can let go of him now, im not so sure yet (it’s hard not to see the you both as one). but it’s you I really miss and will be etched in my heart forever.
it’s funny i even feel a little grateful to you for leaving me, because i will never be the one who turns my back. if you didnt cut me off, i’ll still be lingering, hoping, believing im with the person i fell in love with 4 years ago.
why does he keep creeping into my dreams like freddie kruger??
my first attempt yesterday afternoon was quite a success, although i didnt wait for it to raise very much. the whole wheat bread became more like a panini, which i really liked! except.. the entire loaf was gone after i came back from shooting. brothers are such bitches, their selfishness are insatiable.
made a second trial this morning, this time with long waiting time to let the dough rise. i actually fell asleep waiting a couple of times.
P.S. my morning was like 4 am.. (cos i wanted to have it for breakfast)
then the smell of beer woke me up. hell of a shock cos i thought the yeast of my bread were overfed (which damages the taste)!
spent 50bucks on a book on artisan bread today. apparently the author is the da vinci of bread making. and im glad i got hold of one finally (despite the hole in my pocket now). first step to my dream of running a bakery. next shall be the leap of making my very own bread.
now, the joy of peeling that plastic wrap of a new book! i can almost feel my heart smiling.
